2020 – The Year of Change

How do you sum up almost 12 years of life? I don’t think one can – at least not properly. There are so many memories to try to encapsulate in one post, that I would be foolish to think that I could recall all of them. In fact, the biggest fear of writing this post is that someone or something will be unintentionally left out. So please allow me to generalize to a great degree.

On May 31, 2008, I married the love of my life – Rebekah Linder. I met her the Saturday after Thanksgiving in 2006. I was just finishing up work at the Greenville Spartanburg Airport, and had been invited by my cousins to drive up to the Charlotte area to have home-made chili with their friends. I’m still foggy-brained over whether this was a set up or not, but nonetheless, I was a single 25 year old that loved chili. So I went.

It was that evening that I met my future wife. She was nothing I “thought” I wanted in a girl. I had always imagined I’d marry a southern girl who loved sports, and yet here I was, crushing over an opera singer from WinscAHsin (or however you are pronouncing that accent in your head – lol). We were engaged a year later, and then in May of 2008 we were married.

Though I lived in a couple other states during college life, Greenville, SC, had always been home. So for the first time in 27 years, I found myself putting down roots in a different place. We settled in Matthews, NC, in an apartment complex called Paces Commons – starting out life together above another young couple with two little girls, Angie and CR Braniff – now known around the world as https://www.youtube.com/user/branifffamily – Check them out and subscribe! We are so thankful for their friendship, even to this day.

During the stay in the apartment I began a 4 year tenure at the Bible Broadcasting Network (BBN Radio). It was an honor to serve alongside Dr. Lowell Davey and see many people give their lives to Jesus. Shortly after starting work at the station, we built our first house in Fort Mill. Both of our kids were born while living in that home on Haddington Drive.

Then, after much prayer, we began the process of pursuing our own Chick-fil-A franchise. What a journey! Those details are in this blog somewhere back in the archives. We sold our home and moved into a rental in the Wesley Chapel, NC, area in case I was offered a franchise location and we would be moving somewhere across the country. Nothing stretched us more than this experience – professionally, personally, and spiritually. So many sacrifices, yet willing to be tried and tested to see if that was what God had in store for us. Though it was not His purpose for us at that time, the friendships forged during those 3 years with CFA was immeasurable and invaluable.

Through connections at Chick-fil-A, I was introduced to Ryan Homes. I had never been in sales before, and actually couldn’t stand sales people. But real estate intrigued me, and I quickly discovered that sales, done correctly, is simply building relationships and meeting needs. I accepted the position and went through the process of building another home back in Fort Mill. It was during this move that we joined the church family at Harvest Baptist Church in Rock Hill, SC, and got involved teaching the college SS class, as well as in the music ministry (my wife that is – Haha!)

Fast forward 3 years to today, where we have taken the time to assess where we are in life, how much time we are spending together as a couple, with our kids, with others, etc. What we discovered is that we have very little margin in our lives, at a time when our kids are at very impressionable ages.

So after a lot of thought, prayer, and counsel, we will be transitioning to Greenville, SC over the next couple of months! It will be good for my kids to grow up around grandparents, uncles/aunts, and cousins for a few years at least. I am staying with Ryan Homes, but my drive to work will be less and with family around, I won’t feel like my wife is alone on the long days.

The email to my pastor was the hardest. Our church family at Harvest Baptist is special. I pray that we find something like Harvest in Greenville. We will miss you, Charlotte! You have become home. We were married here, our kids were born here, and our closest friends are here.

But a giant step of faith is good for the soul. It stimulates growth, necessary change, and new opportunities for impact and influence. So here’s to meeting new friends, reuniting with old ones, and learning new hashtags. See you soon, #GVL!

PS – Have you ever gone through a big move? Share all your tips and tricks!

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An Unstable Foundation

I’d like to take a different opinion/angle on these mass shootings. When you take away the arguments of politics, guns, mental illness, etc, I’d like to consider the absolute dysfunction and destruction of families over the past few decades.

Let’s consider it in general, as I am not casting blame.

Whether it’s a matter of dysfunctional, broken families, or parents who are simply not intentional with time, love, and attention – a product is emerging that has no purpose and no hope and no value – or so these children/young adults are led to believe.

The Texas shooter posted on his LinkedIn that he is just getting by. That he guesses he’ll do software development because it seems to suit him best. I hope I’m wrong, but to me he appeared to be your stereotypical “no ambition, sit on the couch and play video games all day” type of guy.

I may be stepping on some toes, but that’s a parenting problem.

It’s a parenting problem to not teach your kid ambition. It’s a parenting problem to not teach your kid hard work. It’s a parenting problem to allow your kid to sit on screens all day.

But that’s the issue. It’s hard work to parent and be intentional with parenting.

At the end of the day, do I know all the details? No.

At the end of the day, do I know his home life was the issue? No.

At the end of the day, was he at fault? Yes.

At the end of the day, are we, as parents, responsible to teach and train and love? Yes.

I don’t post this to flippantly add to the outcry and pointing of fingers, but rather to say that the foundation of America is the family. And the devil knows it’s where the attacks are the most affective.

So where do we go from here? We all look inside and say, “What can I do to build up and strengthen my family – our foundation?”

Before you respond, know this. Please. I’m not saying because you are divorced, this happens. I’m not saying your child cannot be raised well and then turn from the truth. I’m not saying that video games are the reason. Or guns. Or donkeys. Or elephants.

Just consider this angle: Without a reason to live, without hope, and without purpose, you are capable of destruction.

Please consider your time. Do you come home from work and selfishly do what you want to do and let your kid sit there, alone, with headphones on their ears, mindlessly playing games for hours on end because no one makes them feel important, or loved, or inspired to do anything?

They’re skilled. They’re important. They’re valuable. But do they know that? Have you told them?

I can promise you this. God forbid that’s ever my son on the Walmart security cameras, but if it were, I would look back and take a lot of responsibility.

So the next time you hear people say to hug your kids and love on them because they could be the next victim, think about hugging them, loving them, and being intentional with them as parents, because they could be the next killer.

That’s hard to read isn’t it? It’s hard for me to think about that.

I close with this.

Maybe you were burned by church. Perhaps you were hurt by religion. Don’t let that keep you from teaching your kids about God. About a personal relationship, not a religion, with Jesus Christ.

NO Jesus, NO hope; KNOW Jesus, KNOW hope. ❤️

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Bridal Beware!

I was chatting with a friend from the midwest recently and she was telling me about a friend of hers who is getting married this summer, but there were some reservations concerning the guy she was marrying. After a long conversation, I have a few thoughts on the matter – since wedding season is in full bloom.

Girls, BEFORE you say those vows, keep in mind:

1. The dating/early season of marriage is usually the “honeymoon” period. If the guy isn’t treating you like a queen, respecting you, caring for you, etc, especially RIGHT NOW, during this “honeymoon” period, don’t expect him to change – it usually gets worse. #RedFlag

2. BEWARE of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Guys can “change” to fit a desired mold for a while, but unless the heart is truly changed, they will flip back after the wedding. #RedFlag

3. Just because you made mistakes with him, primarily physically, DOES NOT mean you have to marry that person. There may be guilt, and thus the guy has a “power” over you… but you don’t have to marry the man. God never says that you MUST marry someone if you have gone too far physically. He may have taken your virginity, but it doesn’t mean he gets to take you as his wife. #RedFlag

4. I’m a firm believer that if a guy is currently addicted to porn, has not gotten victory over anger, or is incredibly controlling (keeping you from talking to any other guys but himself, not respecting your parents, spiritual leaders, etc) …. you SHOULD NOT marry the man. At least not now. The biggest lie of the devil is that YOU will change him. You won’t. #RedFlag

5. Don’t settle. He may the only boy that brought you a dandelion and called you pretty. You might feel the most comfortable around him. But that doesn’t make him husband material. A soft side and one who makes you comfortable is great, but rather look for a strong leader with a tender heart. #RedFlag

I have about 30 friends getting married this summer. If any of these red flags are present, please, please don’t SACRIFICE a LIFETIME of misery on the altar of a 30 minute ceremony to save the embarrassment of calling it all off. Calling it off could be your ticket to freedom. Forget the invites, the flowers, the money, etc…. honestly, your friends can probably see more clearly than YOU can and will ALL be relieved if you BOLT.

Am I old school? Sure! Biblical too. I believe marriage is sacred and serious. Marry the right person – it’s a bit of Heaven on earth; Marry the wrong person – it’s a bit of hell on earth. Maybe more than a bit.

It breaks my heart when some of my closest friends, years later, come to me and say, “I ignored the red flags”. But if you are reading this and are single, dating, or engaged, it’s not too late until it’s too late. Can God change hearts and bring repentance, yes. But it’s never a guarantee your man will want to change. So please be careful now, while there is still time. Pray early and pray often – for wisdom, guidance, and the peace which passes all understanding.

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A Lesson from the Game

Last night, while Trey and I walked around in the cold rain, people watching and taking in all that surrounds an NBA All-Star game, we were bombarded by scalpers trying to sell us tickets. Even 5 minutes before tip-off, they were trying to get $450 for each ticket.  

My son’s little chin started quivering when I explained that daddy can’t pay $900 to watch a game. He wanted so badly to go in out of the rain and cold to watch in the stands with everyone else. 

With shivering hands, Trey would bend down and reach for drenched pieces of paper on the sidewalk – asking me each time if it was a ticket someone may have dropped that we could use.

Passing us, and entering the arena, were those leaving the Ritz-Carlton, clad in outfits that put $900 tickets on a child’s piggy bank level. “VIP” could be clearly seen hanging from a lanyard around their necks. 

I’m 37. I’ve been around these types of events for years. I have athlete friends and CEO friends. I understand that money and who you know can get you in – and I rejoice for those that have tickets or badges – they worked hard. But to a 7 year old, it was tough to comprehend. One day he will appreciate that I did not spend money we did not have.

We had a wonderful night together, nonetheless – dinner at Moe’s, a train ride, and hot chocolate. Just dad and son. Kent and Kent. In the middle of a busy career, we needed quality time.

Later, I snuggled him and talked about the fun we had and reminded him that because of Jesus, we are VIPs in God’s sight. That one day, because of Jesus’ grace and mercy, we will get to enter Heaven’s gates and see Jesus face to face. We don’t deserve it; we can’t earn it or afford it – but God loved us so much, that He sent Jesus to die for our sins, and when we repent of our sins and believe on Him alone for salvation, we become joint heirs with Him. We now have an incorruptible inheritance! All-Star players will grow old, trophies and legacies will fade, but Heaven is eternal.

Thank you, Jesus, for allowing an event to teach such an important reminder.

Have you accepted Jesus? Are your sins forgiven? There is room at the cross for you! Here’s the best part – No fancy suits, passes, or money needed. Jesus loves you, and He gave His life for you. Won’t you accept His gift of salvation today?

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My son lost it

We had told him he only had a few more minutes on the Nintendo Wii (we try to limit screen time), yet when those minutes were up, he lost it. He snapped at me and threw his controller down. He denied any wrongdoing. He didn’t own up to his bad attitude. I talked to him and explained that because of his choices, there would be absolutely no Wii time tomorrow. He stomped off to his room, huffing and shut the door.

Minutes later, he emerged. He walked over and asked me to help him put on his pajamas. He’s 7 years old. He knows how. But in his own way… he was showing his brokenness. He also goes to sleep with no problem. But tonight, he asked that I snuggle him. He just wanted to be with me and wanted to be close to me.

Y’all. We have made choices and decisions in our lives that have been in direct disobedience to God. We’ve talked back. We’ve huffed and puffed and questioned His Word. And we’re miserable. But you know what? God is waiting for us. He is waiting for us to humbly approach the throne of grace. To ask if we could have some help putting on our pajamas because we don’t know how to adequately express our brokenness, but all we know is we so desperately want to be near Him.

Maybe this is you. You’ve screwed your life up and are so far from God that you have no clue how to come back around. God’s waiting. He loves you. Tonight, before you go to sleep…. you don’t need to know the perfect words. Just tell Him you need help putting on your pajamas. That you’re sorry. And that you desire to be near Him and have a relationship with Him again.

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Mission: Compassion

I met Amanda about four years ago. She delivers for FedEx, and our Chick-fil-A in Wesley Chapel, NC was one of her stops. The hustle is REAL with these folks, and we tried to always make her day a little better by offering a drink or a sandwich.

Fast forward a few years.

Amanda’s route has changed, and I am no longer with Chick-fil-A, but we have kept in touch, as she had become a good friend. What I love most about Amanda is her heart for people. It is genuine and magnetic. And it all stems from her faith in Jesus.

Recently, she shared this video. It is a perfect example of who she is and the love she has for those around her. I am reminded of the verse in Jude where it speaks of some having compassion – making a difference. Grab a few tissues and click the play button.

Amanda also began a non-profit organization called Hungry Heroes where she feeds hundreds of first responders, veterans, EMTs, police, fire, etc. -simply to bless and encourage them. You can check it out here: https://www.hungryheroesbbq.com/ Consider donating your time and/or money to help support these heroes!

Please share this post as I am sure this will move others as it did myself. Thank you, Amanda, for loving everybody, always, and for being an example of life touching life.

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Coming up short

I’m numb.

I gave everything and still came up short.

It’s a terrible and sickening feeling. One that eats and eats at your very soul. Giving everything and still coming up short is not easy to swallow. Twelve months of sacrifices and pure grit and hustle suddenly seem meaningless and you begin to mentally scratch and claw to figure out how it could happen. How it could end this way.

I’m referring to my career in sales. I sell new home construction, and all of us sales reps have one goal in mind each year – to hit President’s Club. President’s Club is determined by achieving a certain percentage above what you are supposed to sell in a given year. Without going into much detail, it equates to a $20,000 bump in pay the following year.

I was blessed to achieve this goal my rookie year, and was motivated even more to re-qualify my second year (2018). After my sales partner left to move to another market back in April, I was determined more than ever. I was alone and it was all on me to make it happen. Over the next 9 months, I pushed hard – sacrificing personal time and family time.

For me, it was all about my family. As the sole provider, I needed the bump in pay to help pay off medical bills and to get us back to being debt free. Though there were many hurdles to overcome, I was bound and determined to make it happen. And I was all in! Down to the wire. Writing sales on December 31. But would it be enough?

My office manger was a gem and ran the numbers late on New Year’s Eve. The email arrived in my inbox, and I opened it. All I remember seeing were the words, “Kent, I am so sorry. You came up ONE sale short”

One sale.

I immediately resonated with those sports players who have experienced an excruciating loss by ONE point, or ONE goal, or by ONE run. Imagine a Major League baseball player sweating and hustling through 162 regular season games to lose by merely ONE run and miss the playoffs – or even worse yet – lose by ONE run in the World Series.

But as cruel as the game of life can be sometimes, a loss is a loss. And coming up a sale short, is a sale short.

So I type this as a testament and a reminder to myself as to why I exist. And that is to give glory to God for His goodness in my life. Though I feel like sitting here in disappointment and despair, I choose to praise Him for a very successful year despite not being back in President’s Club. Most of all, I’m thankful for my buyers who have become friends, and my fellow reps and office staff who are absolutely wonderful, and for my wife and kids who lift me up and who are literally everything I need.

So in the moment, though incredibly disappointed, I thank God for giving me a great career, opportunities to help make dreams come true, and the ability to provide for my family.

How about you? Have you ever experienced coming up short in something you have worked so hard for? I’d love to hear about it!

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Lessons from the road: Part 1

I am on the road quite a bit. The commute from my home in Fort Mill, SC to my place of work in Huntersville, NC averages out to be an hour’s drive each way. And though it can be long and tedious, I try to observe and learn from all that happens around me. It’s incredible how parallel lessons from the road and lessons from life can be. They also intersect.

About a month ago, I exited off I-77 in Charlotte to grab some lunch. My vehicle was positioned in the left lane of two lanes heading straight. As we approached a red light, we gained a left-hand turning lane. When the left-hand turning lane was granted a green arrow, those vehicles began to move. The one vehicle ahead of me in the straight lane, sensing forward motion from those to its left, proceeded on as well. One problem: our light had remained red.

Instantly, I noticed a gentleman on the opposite side of the road. He was in the same lane as I was in, but heading the other direction. He saw what had happened, and he wanted everyone to know he had seen it. His head was sticking out of his window like a giraffe stretching for feed through a fence. He was GLARING. Eyes locked in on the driver who set off through the red light.

We’ve all been there. Maybe we were daydreaming, checking emails, or tuning the radio. Our eyes were off the traffic lights, but our peripheral vision caught the vehicle to our left moving, so we moved. Sometimes we catch ourselves and slam on the brakes, other times it’s too late to stop and we simply go on through. It’s dangerous, but rarely intentional.

And it was in that moment that my lesson was revealed to me. How often in life do we make a mistake? Could be intentional. Could be a lack of common sense. Could be completely innocent and unintentional. We have all been there. And also present are those near us, across the way, sticking out their necks, glaring at us down their nose. Condemning. Judging.

I know I’ve been there in traffic and in life. I’ve run a red light in the same fashion. Deep in thought or in worship, maybe checking a text or call, and away I went – even though it wasn’t my time to go. I’ve accidentally cut people off in parking lots and when they lay on their horns, I sheepishly wave and mouth that I am sorry. I’ve also made mistakes in life, and whether innocent or not, I have been at the brutal end of the scrutiny and the glares.

So what’s the lesson I learned? I learned both sides of the coin that day. I learned to not judge hastily. To not let emotions ride high and to not condemn with ease. To assume the best in someone when it’s a situation where innocence could be in play, and to seek to help and not hate. But that’s not all.

I looked at the guy across the intersection and considered him as well. Could he be a hot-head, policing everyone’s moves and motives? Sure. But could he also have lost a family member in an accident caused by someone running a red light? Absolutely. And in that moment I was reminded yet again to give grace. To give the benefit of the doubt. To be slow to judge, but quick to forgive.

Are there times when judgement is warranted, yes. Are there times when discipline is required, of course. But as a general rule, in our normal day to day, let’s not allow the mistakes of others to fuel condemnation and formulate negative opinions. We have all made mistakes, and we will all make mistakes. If everyone is glaring and no one is caring, how is anyone ever helped? How is anyone ever encouraged?

May we all strive to love and lift up others even more in 2019! Have compassion. Make a difference. Happy New Year!

How about you? Have you ever been on either side of the coin? I would love to hear about it. Please feel free to comment.

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A note to my wife

Dearest Rebekah,

We’ve been married a little over 10 years now, and it’s taken a decade to fully realize just how special you are. I am incredibly blessed. I don’t deserve you.

Over the past 10 years, I have also realized that the devil is honed in to destroy marriages. Too many close friends have watched their spouses walk away, and they are left alone – feeling empty, worthless, and scared. I pray for healing and comfort for them.

Tonight, I take a break from watching Hallmark with you, to duck around the corner to the laptop to publicly type that I am so in love with you, and by God’s grace, we will walk hand in hand until Jesus returns. And in true, Hallmark movie form, I will strive to always be the loving, trustworthy country-bumpkin that you fell for in lieu of the rich businessman.

I pray that together, we will always be a lighthouse guiding those around us to the safety of the Savior.

Yours forever!

Kent

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How to enjoy life: Pro Tip

I am a living, breathing, walking testimony that you can have a TON of fun in this life without drugs, alcohol, clubs, etc.

How?

  • Knowing Jesus brings joy!
  • Love everybody – always.
  • Rock a cool nickname like “Kentobean”.
  • Surround yourself with people who bring you up.
  • Lovingly avoid spending all your time with people who bring you down. Notice I said ALL your time. People who bring you down are the type who are struggling and you can be there for them – just don’t get sucked down the negativity vortex.
  • Smile and hug.
  • Be pure in heart.
  • Be faithful to your spouse.
  • Watch Hallmarks instead of Horror movies.
  • Less Talk radio and more talking to strangers. You’ll learn people need encouragement and the title “stranger” will be upgraded to “friend”.
  • Look for every opportunity to be a blessing!

What are some other tips you have to a life full of joy and happiness? Please comment!

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